Transgender Body Positivity – Noodle #6 – “Pretty Like Me”
Transgender Women are Women
…and as such, we’re subjected to the same pressures cisgender women are when it comes to “aesthetic beauty.” We need body positivity — transgender body positivity.
Externally, we’re expected to conform to certain aesthetic standards and behaviors. Any deviation from this norm and we’re accused of not being “real” women. Meanwhile, on the other side of this double-edged sword, if we try too hard to appeal to these standards, we’re accused of “parodying” women and upholding gender stereotypes. How do you win this argument?
Internally, we’re stuck dealing with our negative self-images and internalized transphobia. We know what “real” girls look like, and we often don’t look like them. Many transwomen have features and attributes that are distinctly masculine and obscure the illusion that we are cisgender. Of course, there are a number of options to help deal with these nonconformities, but they usually involve painful surgeries and are prohibitively costly. And, to be honest, no one should be expected to go through all of that just to be able to live their lives. But the saying is true that we are often our own worst enemies.
What we need to realize, and what I hope the message of this song conveys, is that, though we often can’t see our own beauty, we are beautiful.
Transgender Body Positivity Begins With You
The fact of the matter is that we are real women, because real women come in ALL shapes and ALL sizes. For every trans woman who believes her features stray too far from the norm, there are hundreds of cis women who have the same features. For every transwoman who hates her body because her hips are narrow, her voice is deep, her feet are big, or her breasts are smaller than average, there are, again, dozens of cisgender women who feel exactly the same way about their own bodies. Baldness, facial hair, muscular builds and broad shoulders are not strictly within the domain of cisgender men; many, many cisgender women share these features — and some even have all of them.
So, what do you mean, dear sister of the transgender experience, when you say you are not pretty like they are? Because the goal, here, is not to be pretty like them, but to be pretty like you.
You’ve got perfect hips,
and perfect lips.
You’re a teenage fantasy.
You’ve got pretty eyes,
and you’re just the right size.
You’re everything a real girl should be.
And no matter what I say or do,
I’ll never be just like you,
and I don’t really want to be.
I’m not pretty like you,
I’m pretty like me.
And you know it’s true,
that I’m not pretty like you.
I’m pretty like me.
You’ve got nice long hair,
and I just don’t care.
‘Cause I’m finally where I want to be.
So drop the attitude.
And don’t call me dude.
Could you show a little respect to me?
I’m through with crying all the time.
I’ve been through it all, I’ve committed no crime.
And I’m stronger than I’ve ever been.
So screw your perfect lips,
and your perfect hips,
and who cares about your fantasies?